I totally understand how she feels! My hubby and I went on a long weekend getaway when my daughter was almost 2 yrs old- I was so scared to leave her! And then halfway thru our mini vaca we get a call from the grandparents saying she fell and broke her arm...needless to say we haven't left her since!

I don't blame her. Not that I'll NEVER leave my child, but when they're that little, they can't possibly understand where you've gone and as a parent, biologically and naturally, you're not really supposed to be separated. You are their protector. Your genes and their future are reliant upon your making sure that your offspring are safe at all times. It feels unnatural to leave a baby in someone else's care. My son is 4 and we've left him for as long as a day, but never overnight. Eventually...

We just tried our first weekend away from our 1 year old daughter. We left her at my in laws house, drove a bit and then went back with our car full of luggage. She was in a great mood. Not being away from her for more then 3 hours (when she was mostly asleep) since she was born, I think that was the reason we just couldn't. We decided we would let her with my in laws for a few hours at first and then ... in a few years maybe for a full weekend :) I have friends that leave their children on all weekends and tell me we have to take time for ourselves, but I just don't feel complete without her. Although right now, when she's learning to walk and my back is killing me, I keep complaining.

We went on our first vacation last year. it was only 3 days 2 nights but I felt so much guilt. We are going again this year, tomorrow in fact, and I feel the guilt again. It's just spending that much money on US makes me feel bad. I almost called off the trip. Again, it's only 3 days 2 nights and the kids are staying with the grandma but I feel bad for leaving them to have fun. I had a 2 week trip back in December but I felt no guilt because the kids stayed with my husband I was visiting family back in WI with my mom. So it wasn't really "fun" or vacation.

I understand mom guilt 100%

My husband and I slipped away for a night when our son was 8 weeks old. We left him in the care of loving grandparents and I never regretted it. It was so nice to be able to watch TV, take a bath and sleep in. We both came back very refreshed and our son never knew the difference. He was too busy being doted on by his grandparents!

I enjoyed reading your comment, Jaxmama, and it was along the lines of what I was going to say. The grandparent-grandchild bond is such a wonderful and important one, and often the bond can strengthen best when there is one-one time without the parents. Their own relationship and bond can develop. Of course it's also nice when everyone is together, but I think it's important also for grandparents and grandchildren to have time on their own to bond. I would look at it not as leaving my child, but giving my child the chance to have a wonderful time with the grandparent(s). I wouldn't even give it a second thought, or look back! Of course, this assumes a close family connection. It would be a totally different story to leave the child with a babysitter- now THAT I wouldn't do, and would definitely feel guilty about. But a grandmother's loving arms is completely different.

My daughter has been doing overnights at Grammie's house since she was about nine months old. This March, when she was 15 months old, we went away for a weekend -- two whole days! I could lie and say my husband and I had a fabulous time, but I missed my daughter more than we had fun! My husband counted -- I called home 12 times the whole weekend!

I'm in totally agreement with Valerie. I left my daughter for the first time when she was about two. She was with her loving and very capable grandparents. I felt zero guilt or trepidation at all. Did I miss her? Of course. But I got over it pretty quick after having wonderful room service, an hour long bubble bath, and sleeping in a king size bed all alone.

Still haven't left our daughter for more than two hours, and she's almost 10 months old.

I breastfeed her, and will continue until she self weans, so that plays a big factor as to when she will be left over night with her Grandma.

Umm, yeah, we've left the kids. Neglecting my husband was never on my list of things to do once we had kids, and I am so happy to have made that promise to us and keep it. But we also have amazing parents that are able to help out and realize the importance that the marriage has and how seriously we take that.

My son is just over 2 years old and we've never left him for more than a few hours at most! I was at a baby shower sat. and left him with his dad at grandma's. I really missed him! There was another little one toddling around and cute as he was- It wasn't my cutie! I did have a good time but I definately missed him!
Also, I'm still waiting on self-weaning so I don't think any grandparent wants to deal with an overnighter with him just yet! ;)

Another unnecessary example of mothers feeling guilty (or rather, made to feel guilty) for having a milisecond of time when they don't think of or do something for their children. If only that friend had been more encouraging of the decision to vacation, rather than embedding the dreaded, 'oh, you'll never be able to leave...'

It's so irrating how it's become the norm for women to consistently berate and martyr themselves (and each other) in the never ending, unattainable quest to prove who's the best mother. Its like it's become this badge of honor to prove how supposedly dedicated mothers are to their children. I have the same gripe with the workforce: also a race to demonstrate how stressed and busy and overworked everyone is, blah blah blah.

I just wish we would be ok with women having neutral feelings on this. So sick of it. Go on vacation, or get your nails done or talk about something OTHER than your 3-yr old for a day, admit that you hate Mommy & Me...WHATEVER. Just do it and stop with the peer pressured guilt. It will only encourage more honestly and support. For those who have some tsk tsk judgements to make? Screw 'em.

As long as the child is in good hands, what is there to feel guilty about? I would feel MORE guilty if I didn't take care of my marriage and take some time away from the kids. We were a family before we had kids; we don't feel guilty taking some time for ourselves, and spending some money on ourselves. People need to relax a little.

Bravo Danielle, bravo.

I completely agree.

Me and my husband took our honeymoon when our daughter was 15 mos old! I told myself that I was going to enjoy our vacation to the Dominican Republic and not wish it away to soon. But the very last day we were there we were having a nice dinner and this mother came in with her three young children and I turned my head and started to cry. I tried to hold it in but It made me miss her so much!

My husband and I have gone away for a whole looong week every year for the past 8 years and counting. We have 4 children (ages infant to 11). As a mother, I feel like my children define so much of who I am that I need to remember that I am a woman, wife, human too. Plus I am crazy about my husband and I just really like to hang out with my best friend alone sometimes.

I think parents-- especially moms should do what's best for their family. My daughter is almost two and I haven't left her overnight yet. It's not a guilt issue... I just don't want to leave her yet. It's my choice. I work 60 hours a week and have limited free time. I enjoy spending that time with my daughter and husband.

My husband and I just took a weekend getaway, and our daughter is 3 months...I am nursing and made sure I pumped enough milk for about 2 weeks before we left, and she thoroughly enjoyed her time with the grandparents :) I need time with my hubby, as much as I adore my little girl, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that!

My mother in law helps out with my kids a lot. (my parents passed away 20 and 13 yrs ago)
She has always watched the kids for us overnight here adn there. Hubby and I have been taking weekends away once a year for about 13 yrs now.
ITs very nice and the kids get to bond with grammy.

sad to say, but my son is 4 and my daughter is 2.5 and we have never left the children. i have only been away from my son to have my daughter. it wasn't that we didn't want to have alone time (that we need!), it was finding someone to take care of our children. my mom and my mother-in-law live out of state and aren't the grandparents that offer to watch their grandkids. we don't have a nanny or a babysitter. we do plan to have a nice vacation for our ten year anniversary so i have 2 years to convince my mother to babysit!